Step Father

Fourteen Valentines Days

Super Heroes Do Exist!

Sitting around a dinner table with my hilarious single friends, I was asked a question.  Someone in the group asked me,  "if you were to ever remarry, would you want to have more children?"

While a single mom of three kids I met a bold and active group of friends through the church I attended.  On the weekends that my children went to be with their dad, I thoroughly enjoyed my time with other singles (especially since I became a mom at 19).  Playing paddle ball at the park, going to movies, bowling and floating down the Boise River was how I got to spend some of my single days.  When I had my three kids with me, my friends always made me feel welcome to bring them along to join in the fun.

 I am particularly grateful for the friends I chose to be with during that time in my life.  I was slightly out of my comfort zone because   I didn’t quite know how I fit into the single parent scene.  I knew that my choices were going to either help me grow or bring me down to a place that would affect my little family.  I saw some friends choose to associate with people who pushed them towards great things and a life of abundance.  Then there were the others who took another route that was like going down a windy road to only end up in a ditch.

Carefully,  I considered the question my friend had posed.  Around the table, all eyes were gazing at me in anticipation of what my answer would be.  I began, “only if the man I marry is a super hero.”  I laughed. They all laughed.  The night went on. 

I had no idea at the time; my super hero was at that table.  He listened to my every word and come to find out; he watched my every move that night. 

I had very high expectations of who I would consider for a husband.  I honestly didn’t think he was out there and I was perfectly fine with that.  I had learned my lesson and knew it was better to be single than to hastily choose a spouse.

I have celebrated fourteen Valentines Days with my super hero. I gave birth to two children with my superhero. I have cried on the shoulder of my super hero.  I’ve raised 3 kids with my super hero and in the process of raising our two.  My super hero has seen the best of me and has seen the worst.  He is in love with me, I can tell.  I can tell by the words he says to me and the way he looks at me.  I can tell by the sacrifice he makes and by the effort he puts into creating a godly family for us.

What makes a super hero a super hero?

  1. He loves my kids.  As a step Dad, Brian wanted to love our kids in a way that would make them feel like we were all on the same team.

  2. He puts me first.  Brian has shown his love to me by putting me first.  He has a good balance of his career and family life.

  3. He listens to me.  Being married before means I had a bit more baggage than what Brian had.  He listens to me as I process through my feelings, even when I sound like a record going around and around.

  4. He is patient.  Although Brian had never been a dad before, he showed a lot of patience with towards his instant family.

  5. He encourages me.  I’ve never had anyone encourage me the way Brian does.  At first it was hard to accept that someone could see so much good in me.  Now, I listen to his encouragement and accept it as the Lord speaking His life giving words to me, using Brian as the messenger. 

  6. He is honest.  Brian doesn’t let sin control his life.  He is quick to confess his sin, leaving no door for the enemy to get into our marriage.

  7. He is dependable.  I can depend on his godly character.  He is who he says he is. Because Christ abides in him, he lives a life of integrity. 

  8. He is humble.  Although pride shows itself in us all, Brian walks in humility more than anyone I know. 

The super hero I married is a man who had his life transformed by the love of Jesus.   Changed by the power of the Holy Spirit, he has blessed his family in so many ways.   These past fourteen years have been the best years of my life.