This is an excerpt from 4 Ways you Can Save Your Second Marriage.
Identify your Family Vision.
Having a vision for your family requires looking ahead and dreaming about what you want for your family.
It’s better to plan for your family’s success rather than clean up a mess. -Nicole
You may want to meet with each child individually to know what their expectations are about your blended family. They will feel loved and important when you spend the time listening to them.
You may want to call a family meeting (Brady Bunch Style); one time it may work and other times you may be disappointed because it’s a disaster. You and your spouse need to talk ahead of time so you both know the purpose of the family meeting is. Remember that you are a team and you should to work together.
Family meeting etiquette:
Don’t get offended
Don’t Storm Out
Keep it light hearted
Brian and Nicole Hauff: We are committed to seeing our children thrive within our home and in their life outside our home. We choose to see each child through what their potential is not what they are currently living out. We call out the good and see their gifting as God given. The success of our marriage directly affects the life of our children so we focus on loving each other well. We pray blessings over our children and will not give up on praying for them even when they push us away.
Your words give life to their dreams. When you speak life into someone it’s as if you’re giving the nourishment it takes in order for them to grow into who they were created to be.-Nicole
Your children and step children need for you to believe in them. Explore who God created them to be so that you can be the one to call it out, speak into it and give life to their dreams.
If you have a dream and a vision for your life then your children will be more likely to have a dream as well.
Ask your children questions to draw out the ideas they have. Give your kids time and space to think about who they are and what they imagine they are capable of. Having a vision for yourself is equally as important.
In the Quiet of your Mind you will hear the Dreams of your heart.-Nicole
Our world is loud. It’s going to be during the time you choose to be quiet before the Lord that He will bring into remembrance the Dreams you once had. God is good at reminding us that He gave us the creativity and that He will provide an outlet for it. Spend time with Him and listen to what He says about your family.
A tangible way to work with your family to dream is to make a dream board.
Making a dream board with our two youngest children; they are ten and thirteen. I decided that we need to have a way to express what they feel like God has placed inside of them. I want to invest wisely with the years I have left with them to help them cultivate their dreams. This idea is not original to me, I’ve heard of many people creating a dream board. I just haven’t heard of kids doing them. What if someone had dug this kind of treasure out of you at a young age?
Ask them these questions:
What do you love to do?
What are your natural gifts?
Describe what kind of a person you are.
List 5 qualities that you want to be.
List 5 things you want to do?
List 3 places you want to visit?
Print out some photos or let them draw their ideas on paper or poster board. I choose a scripture that they can hold onto and encourage them to search for a scripture that has meaning to them. One that I might choose is:
Isaiah 41:13 For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear: I will help you.
You can hang their dream board in their room or bathroom so that they see it daily.
When a family thrives, you will see fruit.
Brian and I invest in our children so that they will go out into the world and invest in others.