Seventeen years apart, my daughters share many traits with each other. Often times it feels like I’m raising the same little girl over again but with a wiser eye. My hope is that I will escape some of the mistakes I made the first time since I’ve already been down this familiar road.
My girls are creative and a little messy. Their learning styles are so similar that when my youngest didn’t pick up reading easily, I had no worries about it. My oldest was slow to learn how to read however when she did, she didn’t stop. They aren’t identical in who they are but I can celebrate the traits that are similar.
My older three children have a different father than my youngest two. No matter how much alike they are, they will always have different fathers. I will admit that they do not have a striking resemblance yet that has never diminished their love for each other.
My oldest child was sixteen when I became pregnant with my youngest. All four of our children were in the room where we watched the screen that would tell us if we were having a boy or girl. This was the moment that a simple ultrasound would bring tears to all of our faces.
The thrilled sixteen year old shared, “I knew God wouldn’t let me down, I’ve prayed for a sister since I was five years old.”
One thing I’ve never heard is “she’s my half sister”.
Years later, I asked my adult daughter how she felt about her siblings; I wanted to know if she felt like they were half siblings. I was curious because I grew up with friends who always differentiated on who their full siblings were and who the halves were. Her answer was quick.
“She is my sister.”
You see, she never even considered that having different dads would make her and her coveted little sister anything less than “sisters”.
From my perspective, we are one whole family. We came together out of a broken place but all that was broken has been restored.
Brian and I always knew that our the two kids we have had together would bring healing to our family. What happened is deep. The two younger kids have been the glue that has kept our family whole. Not halves.
Every step family is unique and there is no formula for true success. The key for us has been prayer, and that is the way the Lord showed us specific ideas and vision for our family. The beauty of listening to the Lord and following His plan is that I don’t have to feel pressured to be something I’m not called to be.
God loves us all the way, not half way.
I’ve seen how beautiful it is when we love people all the way.